005 - I’m okay now

about the previous entry, since im a few hours away from this land to some land i haven’t been to yet, I might as well say that I feel a lot better now though without sleep and without rest. aside from that, I’m perfectly fine now.

I doubt that the person’s going to read this anyway. Either way, I want to go to this trip with GVs.  

I will miss you internet for 4 days. I’ll be back soon. Ngayon, kailangan ko na itakas ang sandaling tulog 

004 - naiinis

ang hirap talaga ng ganitong feeling eh. yung tipong dapat natutuwa ako pero for some reason, I can’t.

You see, hindi naman puro happy things and random goodness ang ibblog ko dito. For some reason, I feel like I’m not the same person I was before. I’m not the same person as I was the last week nor the last month. I’m changing everyday and sigurado ako na ayoko na maging yung give-away person na madaling basahin. Ayoko na ng ganun eh.  Nakakainis. Nakakainis lang yung sarili ko kung ganun ako.

As much as possible, lumalapit ako sa distance na tingin ko safe para sa akin. Tipong, walang expectations, walang demands. I want to change, for the better. Ayoko din kasi na maging demanding, ayoko din magexpect. Ayoko sa kahit anong tulad nun or kahit anong malapit sa salitang relationship. Which is good for me dahil ang dami kong namiss sa mundo noong nagmumukmok ako para sa mga bagay na hindi ko naman mababalik.

And for once, I tried to stay away from whatever I did before. I tried to change my ways. Ayoko ng iforce yung sarili ko sa buhay ng iba. and I’m not doing anything like that now. Though minsan, may mali din ako pero hindi naman ako aprating pwedeng iblame.

I can be a great friend if people want me to be their great friend. pero hindi na ako pwedeng sabihan na gawin ko yung mga bagay na siguro yung dating ako, gagawin. Kasi mahirap. Nakakainis. Ayoko na mainis sa sarili ko. Ayoko din mainis sa yo. 

Takte. dapat masaya ako. Pupunta akong beijing bukas eh.

003 - Orange

I’ve always been a sucker for the color. Hindi naman ako ganun ka-adik not to the point that I wear orange shirts or pants. Kadiri naman siguro yun. But then I realized how I like being around the color or having it as a part of some things I own.

Like for instance, how i chose my latest phone. Kasi I bought this phone 6 months ago. Shit, 6 months na pala yung phone ko. haha. Half a year, way to go for me. anyway, irrelevant thought. nung binili ko yung phone ko, I wanted another model, preferrably sony ericsson, and so i looked for one. Yung cybershot na kasi i wanted something as near as possible to having a camera. so, i asked for this lim phone which they dont have a stock. So i had to choose another one. and then, yung saleslady, pinakita niya yung phone na to. K770i daw. So, i asked, may ibang colors ba. and then she said, orange. So ako naman, OK YAN NA YUNG GUSTO KO. (regardless kung ano yung specs and everything). i thought, that time, it was good enough for me and so binili nga namin yun.

another time, siguro, yung tatay ko, napansin niya na din yung hilig ko, so 6 months ago din, pagdating niya, tinawag niya ako at sinabing may pasalubong siya sakin. at pagbukas ko, speakers siya na orange. as in speakers for my room. not for the pc lang. ang cool nga eh. soft touch. I loved it plus the bonus color orange. or siguro bonus na lang yung soft touch kasi mas favorable sakin yung color. 

wala lang. na-amaze lang ako sa extent ng pagkagusto ko sa color dahil an hour ago, nagpalit ako ng color ng nail polish. (hooray for long nails! haha) at orange yung pinili ko. 

shit, nakakatamad mag-isip ng falling action ng blog na to. sige. bye. gusto ko din ng mcdo as of the moment.

002 - Excitement

Excitement kills boredom or it can induce sleep to someone.

Either way, I AM REALLY EXCITED.

potek. ngayon ko lang nafeel ang ganitong ughh, feeling ulit. hahaha ) its just that im so glad that we’re finally going. not just somewhere. I practically wanted to go to this place since I can’t remember when. Basta, its included in my list of places-i-should-go-before-i-die list. And first time makakalabas ni James ng bansa (yes, hindi dito sa Pilipinas).

and for one, James is my camera. the one I got last december. One of my life-long dreams.

anyway, this blog missed a lot. I have the entire vacation to fill out those spaces. but for now, i have to sleep. 

001 - gazzillionth first

Naisip ko, it’s time to return to my old ways. Tulad nito, pagbblog. ito naman talaga ang “ways” ko eh. natigil lang dahil masyado akong naintimidate ng stalking skills ng isa kong kakilala. AND, masyado kong linaladlad ang aking nararamdaman sa aking mga entries (which was not helpful in any way at all). so now, i decided to be better. pero mas pinrefer ko ang bumalik sa ganito.

Namiss ko yung ganito eh. namiss ko yung nagbblog ako dahil wala lang. kahit walang kwenta. usually walang kwenta. pero, nainspire ako na bumalik dahil sa experience ko na magsulat ng dalawang papers in Tagalog in 3 days. (refer to multiply blog for the entry) 

and most of all, summer na. ilang linggo na akong bakasyon, ngayon ko lang naramdaman. lecheng nmat yan. BABAWI AKO. bwahaha. 

dinelete ko nga pala yung past entries nito. IMPULSIVE. YEAH. gotta love it. HAHA.

isang thought bago bumalik sa panonood ng dvd: mahirap magtype ng mahaba ang kuko. at mahirap din pumili sa dalawang bagay na pareho nmong gusto. tulad na lang ng pagpapahaba ko ng kuko para maayos yung manicure o gupitin siya dahil gusto kong panindigan ang pagiging hygienic ko. sabaw mehn.